just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
