You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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