i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
