Apparently you make a good broom.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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