I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
