He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
