I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
