I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize