his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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