This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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