I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize