I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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