who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
