dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize