I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
