My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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