God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So many bounce houses so little time
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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