I can tuck mytits in my pants
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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