Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
