all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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