if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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