cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
