38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
