His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Two words: blizzard sex
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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