Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
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