I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
