I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
