"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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