i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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