And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize