do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I need moral support for this bender
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
