I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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