I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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