I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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