god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
we're so committed to being not committed
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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