cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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