The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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