May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
