I'm jealous of your bromance
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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