I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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