I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
