Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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