do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
