so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I love having hate sex.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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