im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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