It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
