And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
