he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
