I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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