i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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