ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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