What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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