we're chasing vodka with high fives
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
