WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I have feelings that need drinking.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
