I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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