Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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