We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize