Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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