I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Ambien. No doubt about it.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
