So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my being single is dangerous.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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