think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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