Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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