areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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