I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Houston, we have a blender
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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