So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How does one acquire holy water?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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