I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
