how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
