tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I need to sanitize my soul.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
