But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Reggie can tackle my bush.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
